Writing Workshop May 2014 (Votes Due by 6/1)

Its time for everyone to decide who was best able to create a fictitious situation with the minimum amount of space allowed. So here, once again, be the rules. The goal is to accomplish two things:
1) Show that these two people are fighting.
2) Despite the fight, show that they still love each other.

“Show” is a very important word there. As Robot Devil put it, “You can’t just have characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!” He has a point. So for workshop one, everyone cast your votes. Who did it best? Once again, its worth a six pack. Also, in the nature of a workshop, if you have any constructive criticism, email me back and I will forward it to the author. This way we get criticism without the potential hurt feelings. If all goes well, I will be back next week with a new exercise for us to cut our teeth on. Send emails to homanclature@yahoo.com

 

#1

Him: I don’t think I’m going to be eating anything— I’m not very hungry.

Her: Sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be eating either.d——

Her: You didn’t answer my question.

Him: Yeah, I was hoping you’d forget.

Her: Why?

Him: You can only be told so many times that someone loves you, but isn’t in love with you.

Her: Well, to be honest it sounds like you’re giving up. There is definitely someone…

Him: What? Someone who will say ‘you’re perfect, you’re sweet, you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed a guy would be,’ then explain that’s exactly why I’m undesirable? I don’t want to just open myself up again—even a cat has a finite number of lives.

Her: I know someone will love you with all she has.

Him: Well, until she decides to come forth, let her eat cake.

 

#2

Him: I’m sorry.

Her: And now it’s all better. It’s not that easy and you know it.

Him:I’m so sorry.

Her: Shut Up! You know what? Fine. You’re sorry? I’m sorry too.

Him:You don’t mean that. We can still fix this.

Her:Yeah? It’s “we” now?

Him:It’s not just “we”. It’s you. It’s always for you. You know that

Her:Doesn’t feel that way.

Him:I was trying to protect you.

Her:I don’t need a Goddamn body guard. I need you to be a partner.

 

#3

Him: No, please explain how we will be fine after you…God.

Her: Baby, it was a mistake. I know you don’t want to forgive me, but I can make it up to you. Just please don’t leave.

Him: It’s not about forgiving you. I could give a shit about that.

Her: Then what?

Him: How am I supposed to sleep in the same bed as you again?

Her: If you need time…

Him: It’s not about time. It doesn’t matter how long its been. He is going to be there any time that I touch you. You gave him everything you’ve given me.

Her: I married you. You have me the rest of my life. It was a drunk mistake. It meant nothing.

Him :And I’ll always have to trust you that that is true.

Her: If you trust me and you do, you’re a better person than I am.

#4

Him: The faucet is still running.

Her: Mmhmm.

Him: Fine. I’ll get it.

Her: mmhmm. Happy now?

Him: That I get to fix your shit? Ecstatic.

Her: Like that pizza box I got from under the couch?

Him: touché.

Her: Or the stains on your shirt?

Him: Ok Ok

Her: Think you owe me a back rub and a thank you.

#5

Her: That’s really funny, because I saw you staring at that girl’s ass.

Him: I wasn’t staring at anyone’s ass. I was waiting for you. And, like I said, thinking.

Her: You were totally staring at her ass! Thinking schminking.

Him: It’s over my livelihood. It’s not an easy decision. And I wasn’t staring.

Her: She didn’t even have a nice ass.

Him: Look, it’s just really hard. It’s a big move for me.

Her: Changing careers is like changing girlfriends.

Him: You really want to talk about this, Miss Ogles-the-Booksellers?

Her: I don’t ogle. I take orders.

Him: It’s just that you looked at me that same way — on that day when you took my order.

Her: Yeah, because I caught you staring at my ass.

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